I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
