I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
