guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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