porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize