I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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