No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
