we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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