Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
