I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
