Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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