so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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