We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
