Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
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