So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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