i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
