they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
This toilet bowl is my home.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
