Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
