You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Come see our sink grown plant.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
We're using joints as your birthday candles
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Drunk is not a location!
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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