When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
You took a bar mat shot.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
