By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
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