My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
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