Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
