i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
