it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
