"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
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