It's Friday. Sex?
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
The air was thick with penises
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
