Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
