Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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