Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
