forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
