You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
So squirting runs in the family.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Randomize
