my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
