its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
