drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
