She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
