Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
