last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
