Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
