Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
