my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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