The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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