I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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