Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
