Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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