Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
