I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
