the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
