Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
