508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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