Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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