I want to walk on stilts...naked
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I'm like, not good at living.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
