I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
