He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
