I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
