Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize