you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
