you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
