Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
