is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
