If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
