She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize