Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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