Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
