We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize