just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
