Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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